Strangest place EVER

I have to start this entry by saying that I wouldn't lie to you. There are approximately 3 people who actually read this blog, and I wouldn't want to turn them off by lying. So I am definitely not making this up.

I was at the mall today, parking, and I see this other car driving along. This was not a nice car; it was not an SUV. What it was was a tiny red Honda hatchback, beat-up with that old matte paint look and the mandatory hood in black from an unknown, but unsurprising, earlier wreck. So basically this story boils down to, "The dude drives over one of the medians. You know the ones. They're like 4 inches off the ground and 3 feet wide. Dude just drives right over them."

So strange.

Why I wanna be a pirate

Chrissy says I haven't posted in a while so until I actually post some exploits and shenanigans I thought I would post the "Why I wanna be a Pirate" essay I entered in the second annual Talk Like a Pirate day contest on the CM message board.

Enjoy.

Ahem, this piece is entitled, "Why I wanna be a Pirate when I Grow up . . ."

It is a well-known maxim that women on board boats . . . erm . . . ships are bad luck. Knowing this, and really you should know this as it's well-known (see above), you might think my campaign for piracy would be destined for a short drop and a sudden stop as so many pirates themselves are destined in these troubled times. However, I would say to you, "Gar, matey, ye couldn't be more wrong if you ordered a nice dry Chardonnay instead of grog at the local tavern, or named your parrot something other than Polly, or failed to have an obvious handicap of the eye, leg, or hand variety."

Even now in the privacy of my own room, I laugh at your wrongness and say to you acurst doubters in my mind, "Avast, ye young scalawags, if ye want to be known as the most fearsome pirate ship in these seven seas, ye'll let it be known ye fear nothing, not even the hands of a cruel fate or the tempestuous sea. And to do that, ye can do naught better than to have a stalwart young lass on board."

So I would make a natural candidate for a life of piracy. After all, these superstitions can't be right, I've been on boats . . . that is to say . . . ships many times before without mishap or malady.

Also, I think the ocean is pretty. Erm . . . the end . . . Argh!!

Helpful Hints from HLynn

I saw this on the AG's website and thought I would pass it along to anyone reading. There's a fun little bit of spyware which logs all the keys typed on your computer which means credit card numbers and pins. Apparently, it's pretty prevalent as when I ran the "make it go away program" (that's the technical name, it's more commonly known as the "anti-yucky-bad-program program") it found something. So my gift to you, my devoted fans and friends a link to the article and link to the anti-yucky-bad-program program.

PS I'm not thinking of keeping the H permanently, it was merely needed for alliteration. (Of course, alliteration aside, I think I'll take my chances in the tournament.)

Hellfire and Damnation in the Morning

One of my roommates watches Pat Robertson (I think that's the guy I'm thinking of). I can't condone that.